Now There is a Way to be Good Again.

...but is there really, or are you just lying to me again?

One Step Closer, Two Steps Back.

"Don't stop loving me, I can see it draining out of you. It's me, remember? It was a stupid thing to do and it meant nothing. If you love me enough, you'll forgive me."

Changes.

You've changed so much, but I guess that's what happens.
I wish you knew how much you changed me.
I wonder if I changed you, if your life is different because of me.
Because mine's different.
You taught me so much, and now we don't even talk to each other.
I guess that's what happens.

You Just Couldn't Resist.

You're too much for me.
You've left me suffocating.
Drowning in an ocean of emotions.

Why couldn't you have just stayed away?

Laughing at the Clouds.

"You can sit and wait for the storm to pass, or you can get up and dance in the rain"

If I Click My Ruby Red Slippers.

Maybe it will all go away.

Natures Law.

"The cracks between the paving stones look like rivers of flowing veins. Let me flow into the ocean, Let me get back to the sea. Let me be stormy and let me be calm, Let the tide in, and set me free"

Messy Thoughts.

I miss being thought of,

I miss being wanted,
I miss little things, like having that anytime anyplace person.
The person who smiles when they see your name flash up on the screen.
The person who wants to cheer you up if you are feeling low.
I miss a lot of things.
But at the moment, I miss knowing I'm missed.

I miss knowing that you're the one missing me.
I miss you.
All I seem to be doing right now, is sitting here in the dark.
Im just sitting here wondering if you're thinking about me right now.
I think I'm just wasting my time.

Set Me Free.

Death will take you by the hand and show you what I've seen.
It will show you all the pain and fear,
It will show you what is me.

I Wrote You a Letter.

It's just a shame I couldn't send it.

I Used to Live in a Beautiful World.

"Suddenly I realised that I wanted everything to be as it was when I was younger. When you're young enough, you don't know that you live in a cheap lousy apartment. A cracked chair is nothing other than a chair. A dandelion growing out of a crack in the sidewalk outside your front door is a garden. You could believe that a song your parent was singing in the evening was the most tragic opera in the world. It never occurs to you when you are very young to need something other than what your parents have to offer you."

Gentle Darkness

One day you are going to find someone who understands you like no one else.

They will know all there is to know about you
understand what it is that gets to you
Figure out the whole act you portray

But what if,
What if you don't want them to know?
You don't want them to find out your deepest darkest secrets?
To not just know about, but to understand them too.

The blackness inside is so private
Part of some hidden world
A personal internal world that belongs to only you
Where birds don't sing and children don't laugh.
A world of nothingness
Population : One
Caressed by a dark thick velvet blanket that rests gently on the top
Darkness like no other
Glistening like wet paint
A desperation like trying to resist immortalising a hand print in wet cement.
Pain that feels so great, so real and so much alive.

It's a holiday retreat
An addiction to the moon
It's my space
My place
My time alone,
It's my nighttime sanctuary.

Look Me In The Eye.

You stood there looking straight at me.
Holding out the big bouquet.
The one that was supposed to make it all ok
But you used to look straight into me - not just at me.
You used to look inside of me and know me.
Understand me.
I stand there staring straight back at you,
watch your hand fall slowly to your side.
The bouquet slips out.
Gradually.
Rejected.
It doesn't make a noise as it hits the ground.
The door doesn't make a sound either.

"The Nicest Thing"

"I wish I was your favourite girl,
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.
I wish I was your favourite smile,
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.

I wish you couldn't figure me out,
But you always wanna know what I was about.
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset,
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly,
'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.
Basically, I wish that you loved me,
I wish that you needed me,
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.

I wish that without me your heart would break,
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.
I wish that without me you couldn't eat,
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

All i know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen;
I wish that we could see if we could be something"

Your Little White Lie.

You said you couldn't stand to see my heart broken.

So when you did break it, did you just close your eyes?

Emotional Overload

I can still smell you on my skin.
I can still feel my hand in yours.
I can still feel your eyes piercing through mine.

I feel my tears roll down.

I curl up in a ball.
I pray that I could fly.
I dream that I could float away.
I just need to be alone right now.
I want to disappear.
Maybe I'll just vanish into the darkness that im drowning in.
You wouldn't notice anyway.

I really can't deal with this right now.

The Darkness of the Music of the Night.

Sometimes, the more crap you go through the more you want to be alone.

The more you wish and dream of being able to curl up in a small ball encasing your problems as the core.
Keep them close and hidden. Protected.
Protected from the real world.

Then late at night they come out to play.

My Painted Face.

Once I find a colour strong enough,

I'll just stand still and look pretty.
Stand still look pretty.

You Asked If I Cried Tonight.

I said no.

Button Moon.

I'm so tired of it all.

I wish I could be the moon tonight.
Away from everything and everyone.
I could just look down at it all and laugh.
I really wish I could be the moon.

I'm Trying to Hate You.

But the hate just keeps on draining out of me with each of the little drops of anger that keep falling from my eyes.